doom letter #19

In an effort to better understand life and everything it can throw at you, a good place to start is at the conclusion that Glenn Beck is total bullshit. I don’t know any other way to say it. This man, with his jingo-jango books, radio and television shows, has had 2009 on lock down in the bullshit department. He is the de-facto leader of the Tea Party movement (whether more libertarian conservatives want to admit this fact or not, he is your voice) which has been huge this year in undermining the Obama administration’s domestic policy goals. I like undermining as much as the next contrarian, but even I have scruples when it comes down to who I climb on board with on the issues – which is why I was timid about throwing my support behind the tea parties. I admit that I agree with the policies of many the tea baggers, but I do not agree with any of their vernacular – much of which spews from the teary-eyed source himself.

1. They want to take our country back

Shut the fuck up. Unless your last name is Bush, or possibly Cheney, this should not be your rallying cry. You never had this country in any meaningful way, and surprise, nothing has really been taken from you yet. If you just listen to Beck, he will have you scared as shit especially if you are anywhere on the racist scale to the more extreme side of me. This country is ruled by the people that paid good money to get Obama elected, coincidentally, just about the same group that paid for the election of Bush. Those men and women are not in the streets protesting, because they can just place a call and get what they need accomplished.

If you have attended a Tea Party rally without a healthy dose of skepticism, bought any of Beck’s books or you are otherwise contributing to the delinquency of your own citizenship, you are being played for a fool. It is as simple as that. Beck would no longer have a place on any cable news network if he truly supported liberty in this country (which makes me particularly suspicious of Napolitano on Fox). While I’m at it, weren’t you some of the same mother fuckers that were telling anti-war protesters to shut up and let the president do his job when it was your favorite alcoholic and you weren’t scared of his Afro-Muslim heritage.

As far as I am concerned if you want this country – meaning the government – you can have it. Just leave me the fuck alone. You are so anxious to get control of an organization that is on its way to bankruptcy due to its ludicrous attempts to maintain something vaguely recognizable as normal to the boomer generation. Along with the financial woes, you want to take over the last real empire known to mankind that is falling apart at the seams. If this is what you “want” so fucking bad, be my guest. My rallying cry boils down to something along the lines of “I want my government to get out of the way of me and everyone else on earth.”

2. Obama may have been born in Kenya

Who the fuck cares? It is so weird that you are so worried about a 200+ year old piece of paper now that it says something you find appealing. You have spent the last 8 years taking the rights guaranteed on that piece of paper away from as many people as you could while simultaneously supporting a foreign policy that could not be further from the intent of the white men who wrote on it. If Obama was born in Kenya, the pussy he escaped from was still American so he is still American. The white guys that wrote up this bullshit didn’t want “others” coming into their new country and watering down their newborn class of elites.

3. Obama wants to kill old people

I don’t know how tea baggers can mentally twist around to figure this one out. There will be no soylent green plant you receive invitations to when you reach a certain age. We are killing ourselves so effectively with our “food” and the drugs and alcohol being marketed to us that they don’t need any help thinning the herd. We are taking care of that for them.

If Obama really wanted to kill old people using death panels, I would have to take a serious look at supporting him since the oldest people in the country are the ones that have allowed it to get the most fucked up.

In closing, Glenn Beck, fuck you. I am a little jealous of your success but I am far more disgusted by your manipulation of the facts to suit your own non-sense. It is sad you are the mainstream conservative who I find most appealing because even you suck ass. I can only hope that you are a flash in the pan and that you will fade away into obscurity. Unfortunately, the media companies that pay you are far too happy with your product and your fan base is among the most loyal in the world. Enjoy your continued success at being a fucker.

doom drinks,

mike