doom letter #12

So I have this cunundrum… I enjoy writing about events past, present and future which I find interesting. But, I have two problems with the idea of using my expression to influence others.

Number One

I interact with mainstream Americans every day. In their eyes, there is no emergency and life is fairly simple. Most people just want to impress others (within social constraints of normalcy) and continue their lives. They have dreams and aspirations running the gamut from mundane to monumental. Some of these aspirations fall within a particular scope with which I can share some common ground. For example, most people my age (31) want to own a home. I don’t want to own a home per se, but I do want control of a small amount of land, so we do have something in common there. On the other hand, there are goals that people aspire to which force me to wonder whether or not I am even living on the same planet as they are. A good example here would be that most people want to maximize their income in order to increase the level of impression they are making on others. Now, they may not state this, but if you dig a little most people really just want more money – I don’t place the blame on people in this regard, but that is a completely different subject. On this point, I honestly could not care less. I have worked a “good paying job” or two in the past and will most likely occupy a couple more depending upon how the future shakes out. But I do not plan out my life around my occupation. I refuse to recognize that we are only our resumes. My view of life is entirely too short term to invest much effort in making money. I am much more interested in maximizing my comfort and picking up ideas that provide a sustainable basis for said comforts. Money, social status or any other socio-economic metric means little to me.

Taking all of this into account, I hesitate at putting a lot of time/effort into increasing attention to my writing because I am not willing to start a conversation at a level most people will be able to catch on. That sounds elitist, but it is the easiest possible way to explain how I feel. Let’s take two examples:

1. I think that there is enough evidence that the current rates of oil production are not able to support continued economic growth – in other words I believe peak oil is a real and contemporary problem. The fact that exacerbates the problem is that many people that I know and otherwise respect on an intellectual level have two reactions to this idea – they bow to the altar of technology as our savior or deflect the notion out of hand. How the fuck am I supposed to get a point across to people like this???

The first group will inevitably disagree based on a perceived history of technological development. When I ask a question like “do you believe that our species’ technological prowess has a peak?” I usually get an affirmative answer. When I then point out that our technological peak may be now they retreat again into a denial of this notion. This is interesting because there is no point in history that someone can reference that offers a model for dealing with the foundational threat of peak oil on society.

The second group is even more interesting than the technology worshippers. They usually state that; they just don’t want to know about stuff like this, they don’t care or they don’t understand what I am saying. Or the worst of the bunch I would clump into this group are so dumbfounded by what I say to them that they do not say anything back to me at all. I was recently talking to a co-worker who struck me as intelligent and she said that even if I am right, she doesn’t want to think about it.

2. I think that there is plenty of evidence that the government is taking over more and more decision making from the citizens of the United States. When I talk to people about this, their answer almost always the same, “my life isn’t any different, and what does it matter if you don’t have anything to hide.” This point isn’t nearly as complicated to deconstruct – people really don’t care about personal freedom. It is not a value indemic in American society. I mentioned the two primary motivators earlier – money and status – but a third one pops up in this case, convenience. So much of our lives is geared toward what we see as convenient. It is inconvenient to take time out of your own life to tend to civic responsibilities so they are delegated. It is inconvenient to challenge any status quo, so it is usually adhered to and rarely challenged. It is convenient to put faith in someone else to do something for you instead of doing it yourself.

Here there are a ton of examples but I am tired right now so I will skip them for now and come back to this some other time.

Number Two

The second reason I get conflicted about getting other people to “wake up” to what I think is going on is because I don’t think that I hold any particular authority over them. Why should I think I know better than someone else? Is it because I am more intellectually curious? Is it because I am inherently contrary and I am always looking for an argument against something? I guess it is a bit of both. However, neither one of these reasons provides me with the justification I need at times when I am feeling especially inquisitive about whether or not I should say anything at all. There is probably also some dystopic thread in my thought processes that goes something like, don’t bother trying to convince them because the only cure they deserve is a hard smack in the face delivered by reality.

Obviously I have some reservations here, and I am not writing this to get some validation from anyone. I know the dirty little secret that almost no one is reading this – I am keeping a count and it is very low. But I do hope that some day this makes other no it alls ask these kinds of questions. I think if nothing else it helps to challenge yourself and your beliefs on a fundamental level. It might not be worth it to spend a lot of time telling other people what you want them to think about, but sometimes it sure feels good.

Including now.

Intellectually insecure but still fucked,

mike